Wait, why am I freaking out?

Way back in 2004, "Dick" Cheney warned us what would happen if that elite liberal John Kerry got elected: "If we make the wrong choice, then the danger is that we'll get hit again -- that we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States."

             
^{When the people in our gov't start to look like ghouls and vampires, it's time to start asking some questions....}

This week, "He Who Looks Like He Sleeps In A Coffin" said that he thinks we, the people, are way too picky about those silly little things called "Rights". You remember, as in "Bill Of"? We're apparently getting caught up in the minutiae of "democracy" and "by the people" and all those other buzzwords from that pre-9/11 mindset.

Don't you wish you could see into the future....?
                                   ^{[cue Dizzy Wavy Lines and Harp Music]}

I, George W. Bush, by the authority vested in me as President of the United States, and by its Constitution, do hereby pardon and remit from any and all liability, for any offenses against the laws of the United States, or any individual states, whether known or unknown, the following individuals:

Richard B. Cheney
Condoleezza Rice
Michael Mukasey
Michael Chertoff
Alberto Gonzales
Donald Rumsfeld
And any and all present and former cabinet members of the Bush 43 administration.

Signed, George W. Bush
President of the United States, this 19th day of January, 2009.

p.s. At this time, I hereby resign the Office of the President of the United States.

Next on Faux News:  WHEN AGING BASEBALL PLAYERS ATTACK!

    Former Boston Red Sox outfielder/first baseman and current TV broadcast announcer for the Chicago White Sox Ken "Hawk" Harrelson was visiting Fenway Park Thursday when he overheard a giggling clandestine spy gathering led by ARod, the NY Yankees' star 3rd baseman.

The Republican National Committee [RNC] this week announced the nominees for 2008's coveted "Most Liberal Man Alive" award, expected to be handed out during the last week in August, barring any disclosures which allow for an earlier presentation; say, if Hillary's love letters to Vince Foster are finally unearthed or Barack Obama is heard muttering, "Damn! I brought my Koran instead of the Bible!" in church one morning.

This just came in the mail. I don't usually forward this kind of thing -- most call it SPAM -- but there are exceptions.

That's where Kathryn Jean Lopez, editor of National Review Online, has finally taken up residence.

K-Lo's "opinion" piece in today's Sacramento Bee:  Gen. Petraeus: Man Of The Year

In trying to keep my friends and family informed of what's going on politically, I boil down all the stories, add some of the interesting comments I find, and send out a series of emails to them on Thursday & Friday, titled.... well, look at the title above, and you may just get a hint.

We already know Blackwater (17 civilians dead, Sept. 16) isn't the only private army security firm operating in Iraq, as an Australian group (2 women dead, Oct. 9) was also in the news recently....

It appears the Brits have joined the ranks of the rogues:

Private security guards shoot three Iraqi civilians

Guards from a British security firm fired on a taxi in Iraq on Thursday wounding three civilians, police said, in a shooting that will put new pressure on the government to rein in private contractors.

A woman journalist was among the casualties when the guards opened fire after the taxi approached their convoy near the northern oil city of Kirkuk, police said. ...

And they might know something about it:

War Analogy Strikes Nerve In Vietnam

President Bush touched a nerve among Vietnamese when he invoked the Vietnam War in a speech warning that death and chaos will envelop Iraq if U.S. troops leave too quickly.

People in Vietnam, where opposition to the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq is strong, said Thursday that Bush drew the wrong conclusions from the long, bloody Southeast Asian conflict.

"Doesn't he realize that if the U.S. had stayed in Vietnam longer, they would have killed more people?" said Vu Huy Trieu of Hanoi, a veteran of the communist forces that fought American troops in Vietnam. "Nobody regrets that the Vietnam War wasn't prolonged except Bush." ...

On this High Holy Day of Obligation, a little light-hearted fun.

THINGS DAD WILL NEVER SAY....

• Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
• You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?
• I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude.... I like that.
• Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY!
• What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?
• Your mother and I are going away for the weekend.... you might want to consider throwing a party.
• Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
• No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.
• Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
• Father's Day? Ahh, don't worry about that -- it's no big deal.

Joe Repya, former Lt. Col. in the U.S. Army, wants to be the Chairman of the Minnesota Republican Party.... a party feeling a bit run down and ragged after losing over a dozen seats at the state level, PLUS letting the state head down the path to communism or socialism or some other nasty liberal -ism when John Kerry beat George W. Bush in the state during the 2004 election.

More.... take the plunge!

Or, How To Stay In The Good Graces Of Karl Rove
        ___________________

THE VILLAGE VOICE gives us the story of two - actually THREE - U.S. Attorneys in New York:

The McCain/Bush Torture Act of 2006.... that's how I will remember this day.

        - President Bush can hold anyone he wants, as long as he wants.
        - President Bush can keep anyone he's holding from finding out why.
        - President Bush can define the limits of interrogation methods.
        - President Bush can retroactively pardon himself and all who do his bidding.
        - President Bush can tell the international courts to kiss his ass.
        - President Bush can .... .... vacation with Saddam?!?

Well, now, Arizona seems to think you might....

I try to keep my friends and family informed of what's going on politically that affects them, whether they know it or not. There's always much more going on in politics than one person can keep track of, and if you're involved with other things (yeah, some people DO have a life!), politics can seem way out of reach.

So I track what's happening for them - mostly by reading blogs, and especially the comments sections (it's amazing, the thoughts and ideas that come from Joe & June Workinhard). I boil down all the stories, add the interesting (and especially humorous) comments I find, and send out a series of emails on Thursday & Friday, titled "WEAKLY POLITICS: NEWS!OPINION!HUMOR!"

Let's start off today's cheering and jeering with:
                    Your Daily Horoscope for Monday, March 13

^{(20 Feb - 20 March)}
Use your imagination today, it is an amazing gift. Your mental wanderings will inspire others, though your family still feels mainly shame. Lobbyists: keep a bail bondsman on speed-dial.
^{(21 March - 20 April)}
It's time for a change in your diet; flatulence is NOT part of a good work ethic. Beware the ( \ ) backslash.
^{(21 April - 21 May)}
Yes. Yes. No. Yes. What time? No. Yes. That's okay.
^{(22 May - 21 June)}
You have strong instincts and desires, but your best feature is still your flailing. Something moist will enter the scene very soon. Don't forget your camera.

Okay, okay, so I made those up.... you can find your real horoscope HERE.

"undergoing some maintenance right now".... "undergoing some maintenance right now"....
Your faux Monday playground begins right now in "Where's Moresville?"... <Smoosh>... huh?... <SPLAT!>
Aw, man, that's a PIZZA! Who the hell took the gong now?!? BIIIIIILLLLLLLL!!!!!

Well, Dubya's going to be on the teevee tonight, proudly touting the mayhem accomplishments <ahem> of his administration.

And I know what I'll be doing:

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